The call of servant leadership

When Fr General Arturo Sosa told me that he had chosen me to be the next regional superior of Thailand, I objected claiming that at 78 years of age, I was too old to take this challenging job. Father General answered that both Popes, Benedict and Francis, were 78 when they were elected pope. What else could I say?

But I felt stressed. I was not a happy superior. I was saying “yes” to this assignment with my head, but deep inside, I was resisting it. In other words, I did not want the job. Ten months later, when I was making my annual retreat, it dawned on me the reason of my continuous stress: I had been too focused on my negative feelings. I needed to change my attitude. So, I made a resolution: I would try to serve my brothers as regional superior with a joyful and positive spirit. To some extent, the stress lifted.

Since last year, I have learned some lessons from my experience about being a servant leader. 

First, being a servant leader calls me to focus on the needs of others and not on my own needs. I need to put aside my desire of being accepted by others, and try to understand and accept others. This seems obvious, but it took me nearly a year to recognise my self-centeredness.

Second, I have friends who can help me. I need the advice of consultors and other members of the region, since I have limitations. To my surprise, I found them most willing to give me advice. And for that, I am very thankful.

Third, my Jesuit companions are full of good will. They have plenty of potential. I have to restrain from judging others, and to encourage them and to rejoice with them in their achievements.

Fourth, most times, my Jesuit companions do not need me to solve their problems or give solutions. They expect me to listen, to understand, and to sympathise with them. I need to listen more and to talk less. 

Fifth, I will make mistakes. No matter how much I consult with others, I will make some wrong decisions. I will not look for excuses. I need to apologise to others, and change my decision.

And lastly, I need to take better care of myself. I can take on too many commitments, too much work. I do not know how to rest. I do not remember my last break. I never take a vacation. I feel tired most of the time. I blame it on my age. But I need to listen to the voice of the Master calling me to “Come away by yourselves to a remote place and rest for a while” (Mark 6:30), and to put it into practice, which is not easy.

Miguel Garaizabal SJ
Regional Superior of Thailand